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Real Life Humor Vol.6

A More Natural Picture

A man and his eldest son went to have their photographs taken together, and the photographer said to the young man, "It will make a better picture if you put your hand on your father's shoulder."
"H'm," said the father, "it would make a more natural picture if he put it in my pocket."

How to double everything?

Teacher handed one student chef at the senior secondary-school cafeteria her assignment, a cake recipe, to prepare for the noon meal and told her to double everything. Some time later he saw her standing by the oven looking rather puzzled. 
He asked if he could help. "I doubled everything," she replied, "but I can't figure out how to get the 700º."

He Knew

Mr. and Mrs. Smith had been invited to a friend's for tea, and the time had arrived for preparing for the visit. "Come along, dearie," said Mrs. Smith to her three-year-old son, "and have your face washed."
"Don't want to be washed," came the reply.
"But," said mother, "you don't want to be a dirty boy, do you? I want my little boy to have a nice, clean face for the ladies to kiss."
Upon this persuasion he gave way, and was washed. A few minutes later he stood watching his father washing. "Ha, ha, daddy!" he cried, "I know why you're washing!"

Adhering to the Stereotype

His wife and children had gone for a few days while he was renovating their living room. After a hard day's work, his brother-in-law, who was helping him, and he scrounged up a few leftovers and migrated to the television to watch a James Bond movie. They were relaxing in front of the TV while eating our supper when his brother-in-law turned to him and said, "I guess this is what they mean by male bonding."

Artist (in desperation): "That, I consider the finest in my exhibition. You can have it for half the catalogue price."
Old Lady Visitor: "Bless my soul! You don't say so. By the way, what is the price of the catalogue?"

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When Mark Twain, in his early days, was editor of a Missouri paper, a superstitious subscriber wrote to him saying that he had found a spider in his paper, and asking him whether that was a sign of good luck or bad. The humorist wrote him this answer and printed it:

"Dear subscriber: Finding a spider in your paper was neither good luck nor bad luck for you. The spider was merely looking over our paper to see which merchant is not advertising, so that he can go to that store, spin his web across the door and lead a life of undisturbed peace ever afterward."

Other Humor & Jokes


A reporter asked the wife of popular English opera singer— "Tell me, does your husband snore?"

"Oh, yes, indeed—so delightfully."


"Yes, really—he's so musical you know, his voice is baritone, he only snores operatic bits, mostly Aida."

Medical Humor & Jokes