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Real
Life Humor Vol.6
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A More Natural Picture
A man and his eldest son went to have their
photographs
taken
together,
and the photographer said to the young man, "It will make a better
picture if you put your hand on your father's shoulder."
"H'm," said the
father, "it would make a more natural
picture if he
put
it in my pocket." |
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How to double
everything?
Teacher handed
one student chef at the senior secondary-school
cafeteria
her assignment, a cake recipe, to prepare for the noon meal and told
her
to double everything. Some time later he saw her standing by the oven
looking
rather puzzled.
He asked if he could help. "I doubled
everything," she replied, "but
I can't figure out how to get the 700º."
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He Knew
Mr. and Mrs. Smith had been invited to a
friend's for
tea, and the
time
had arrived for preparing for the visit. "Come along, dearie," said Mrs.
Smith to her three-year-old son, "and
have your face washed."
"Don't want to be washed,"
came the reply.
"But," said mother,
"you don't want to be a
dirty boy, do you? I want
my
little boy to have a nice, clean face for the ladies to kiss."
Upon this persuasion he gave way, and was washed. A few
minutes
later he
stood watching his father washing. "Ha,
ha, daddy!" he cried, "I know
why you're washing!" |
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Adhering to the
Stereotype
His wife and
children had gone for a few days while he was renovating
their living room. After a hard day's work, his brother-in-law, who was
helping him, and he scrounged up a few leftovers and migrated to the
television
to watch a James Bond movie. They were relaxing in front of the TV
while
eating our supper when his brother-in-law turned to him and said, "I
guess
this is what they mean by male bonding."
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Artist (in desperation):
"That, I
consider the
finest in my
exhibition. You can have it for half the catalogue price."
Old Lady Visitor:
"Bless my soul! You don't say so. By
the way,
what is the
price of the catalogue?" |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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SUPERSTITIOUS
When Mark Twain, in his early days, was
editor of a Missouri paper,
a superstitious subscriber wrote to him saying that he had found a
spider
in his paper, and asking him whether that was a sign of good luck or
bad.
The humorist wrote him this answer and printed it:
"Dear
subscriber: Finding a spider in your
paper was neither good
luck
nor bad luck for you. The spider was merely looking over our paper to
see
which merchant is not advertising, so that he can go to that store,
spin
his web across the door and lead a life of undisturbed peace ever
afterward." |
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OPERATIC BITS
A reporter asked the wife of popular
English opera singer— "Tell me, does your husband snore?"
"Oh, yes, indeed—so delightfully."
"What?"
"Yes, really—he's so musical you know,
his voice is baritone, he
only
snores operatic bits, mostly Aida."
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