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Real
Life Humor
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The only
ditfference
between
a yard sale and a trash pick-up,
is how close to the road
the
stuff is placed. |
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Good
Grief!
In a Scottish cemetery, the story
goes, the following
epitaph appears: "Here
lies Hamish McTavish, whose
deeply sorrowing
widow continues to carry on his flourishing green grocery business at
11
High Street - open daily until 8:00." |
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Once
Upon a
Mattress
A friend of mine awoke one morning to find
a puddle of water in the
middle of his king-size water bed. In order to fix the puncture, he
rolled
the heavy mattress outdoors and filled it with more water so he could
locate
the leakmore easily. The enormous bag of water began rolling on the
hilly
terrain. He tried to hold it back, but it headed downhill and landed in
a clump of bushes, which poked it full of holes. Disgusted, my friend
threw
out the water-bed frame and moved a standard bed into his room.The next
morning he awoke to find a puddle of water in the middle of the new
bed.
The upstairs bathroom had a leaky drain. |
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Notice
Outside of busy supermarket, a young clerk
who was loading groceries
into customers' cars, spotting some people at the nearby telephone
booth,
shouted in a strong Russian accent, "Not good Not good' indicating that
the phone was out of order.
Impressed with his desire to be helpful, one lady suggested that he
post a notice on the booth saying something like: "Not working."
Within minutes he returned ,with a cardboard sign that he taped to the
phone. It read: "No 'Job." |
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Funny?
It's a
Scream!
We were reminiscing and were again
recounting one of our favourite
stories. It took place at Disney World when our children were quite
young.
After waiting some time, it was finally our turn to ride up into Space
Mountain. I sat with two of the children in the front, and my husband,
took charge of the third, who was apprehensive. It wasn't long before I
heard plaintive cries of "I want to get out of here!" And for the
duration
of the ride, my husband struggled to keep our son in the seat.
We chuckled every time this tale was told. However, this time our now
21-year-old finally told us the reason he had been afraid: The cars
were
full of people when they went inside the mountain, he heard screaming,
and when the ride ended, all the cars came out empty! |
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Send
a link or joke to a friend
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ROMANTIC PROPOSAL
"It was
very romantic," says the friend.
"He proposed to her in his
brand new automobile."
"Yes?" family
members murmur,
encouragingly.
"And she accepted him in
the hospital."
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things belong to a judge: to hear courteously, to answer
wisely,
to consider soberly, and to decide impartially.—Socrates. |
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Did you ever notice that
when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take
him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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Banker: "What
is your problem, sir?"
Politician: "I warn
you, Sir! The discourtesy of this bank is
beyond all limits.
One
word more and I—I withdraw my overdraft."
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