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Real Life Humor Vol.4

Soup Of The Day

One lady checked the chalkboard on which the owner of the local deli wrote her soup of the day. At the counter she told her that she didn't think she'd sell much of it that day. Puzzled, owner of the deli turned to the board, and saw that she had written "Spit Pea Soup."


One night a man developed a protracted case of the hiccups. He tried every remedy with no success. With each hiccup, a  bed shook, and he repeatedly woke up his wife. After several "Have you tried?" suggestions, his wife finally said, "Have you tried sleeping in the guest room?" 

Looking for Something?

When they realized they could use a few groceries, a couple stopped at the local corner store. Man noticed the owners had renovated since they had last been in, and he couldn't find the drink cooler. He came upon the owners, sitting on a sofa. "Where's the drink cooler?" man asked. "Looks like you've moved everything around in here." 
"You could say that," replied the owner. "We moved everything out and closed the store last month. You're standing in our living room."

Good Grief!

Once, a co-worker was preparing for a service but noticed that the florist had failed to place a ribbon with the words "Beloved Brother" on the casket spray. An employee rushed to the flower shop, had the ribbon prepared and hastily added it to the arrangement just as the family and minister arrived. Later, the sister of the deceased bent to pay her last respects and noticed the ribbon she had requested. To our horror it read "Beloved Bother." 

Some Nerve!

While on a car trip, one man found himself behind a driver who, although he had his right-hand signal on and was able to turn, was busy talking on his car phone. A man blew his torn and motioned him to proceed. Poking his head out the window, he said, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

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Send a link or joke to a friend
The guest landing at the yacht club float with his host, both of them wearing oilskins and sou'-westers to protect them from the drenching rain, inquired:
"And who are those gentlemen seated on the veranda, looking so spick and span in their white duck yachting caps and trousers, and keeping the waiters running all the time?"
"They're the rocking-chair members. They never go outside, and they're waterproof inside."

Other Humor & Jokes

"Dad, remember that story you told me about when you were expelled from college?"
"Well, I was just thinking, dad, how true it is that history repeats itself."


A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it.