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Real
Life Humor Vol.3
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Uncle: "Well, old
chap, we've not done anything
together for a
long time. How about the Zoo next Sunday, eh?"
Little Boy:
"Thanks very much. I can't say off-hand, but
I'll
ring you
up." |
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Time
Travelling
When she promised to host a neighbour's
90th
birthday
party, she never
imagined she'd need two heads and the arms of an octopus to handle all
the details for an event that rapidly escalated from neighbourhood get
- together to what seemed like a city-wide celebration. "I'll be lucky
to get through that day," she moaned to the celebrant just two
days
before
the big event. "At my age,"
old lady shot back, "I don't worry
about
getting
through that day, I worry about getting to that day" |
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Sympathy
Ann (aged
six): "Mother, you know that
lovely
purse you gave me
for my birthday?"
Mother: "Yes, dear!
What of it?"
Ann: "It makes me
feel orful to think of it just
lyin' in
the
drawer 'ithout a cent in its stummick." |
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Not Strong Enough
Laurie, aged five, was taken by her
grandmother to have tea
with an
aunt.
Presently she began to eat a piece of very rich cake.
"Oh, I just love this
chocolate cake!" she exclaimed. "It's
awfully
nice."
"Laurie, dear,"
corrected her grandmother, "it is
wrong to
say you
'love'
cake, and I've frequently pointed out that 'just' is wrongly used in
such a sentence. Again, 'awfully' is quite wrong, 'very' would be more
correct, dear. Now repeat your remark, please."
Laurie obediently repeated: "I like
chocolate cake; it is
very good."
"That's better, dear,"
said the grandmother, approvingly.
"But it sounds as if I was
talking about bread," protested the
little
girl. |
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Tourist: "Have you
any cold meat?"
Waiter: "Well, we
have some that's nearly cold,
Sir." |
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