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The cooing stops with the honeymoon, but the billing goes on forever.
 

Honeymoon Night

On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked his bride to put them on. 

The waist alone was twice her body. She said, "I can't wear your pants." 

"That's right," intoned the groom, "And don't you forget it. I'm the one who wears the pants in the family." 

The bride took off her panties and asked her husband to try them on. "No way. I can't get into 
your pants." 

"That's right. And that's the way it will be until you change your attitude."

*   *   *

The cooing stops with the honeymoon, but the billing goes on forever.

*   *   *

A young couple on their honeymoon arrived at the hotel where they were spending their first night together. They opened the champagne and began undressing.

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "Ewww what's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. Why are your feet so gross?"

"I had tolio as a child," he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio. The disease that only affected my toes."

The bride was satisfied with this explanation, and they continued undressing. When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again wrinkled up her nose. "Ewww what's wrong with your knees?" she asked. "They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The new bride wasn't happy, but she had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear. "Ewww what's wrong with... Don't tell me," she said. "Let me guess... Smallcox?"

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